I had my daughter at a young age, and I always thought we’d grow up together and figure out life side by side. When she was little, things were easy — she was my best friend, and I was hers. I couldn’t have asked for a better child. But I think that closeness may have held her back. Now, she’s 23 and basically my roommate (she just grew up and never moved out, lol).
Honestly, it’s mostly my fault. I made her dependent on me, and now she’s scared to venture out on her own. Most days, we get along well, but some days it’s hard to speak honestly without risking tension just to keep the peace. I still believe in the house rules, but she feels like she can do what she wants since she pays bills. Yet nothing really changed in our dynamic. I do most of the chores, and I still buy things for her.
Sometimes she’ll clean the kitchen when she wants something from me, but it’s confusing because she wants to be treated like the minor kids but also wants to be treated like an adult. I tell her she can’t have both. This creates tension and affects our relationship.
So, if you ask whether it’s a good idea to live with your adult child, I’d say it depends. If you’re okay with them being messy, sleeping all day after work, and just having a roommate, then it can work. But if your goal is to shape them into a responsible, successful adult, it probably won’t work — and you might need to love them from a distance instead.
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